KEEPING GOOD COMPANY

When I was young, I was loner. I didn’t have many friends, and to tell you the truth, I didn’t  mind. I was very happy to be by myself…or play with my pretend friends. I would amuse myself for hours with my imagination. I was good company to myself.  As I get older, I still cherish my time alone, but I have come to appreciate and value the importance of keeping good company.

In yoga, we call this “satsang” --- Satsang refers to the company that we keep. Literally translated from Sanskrit, "sat" means true, and "sanga" means company; satsang is gathering together to reach the truth, or to inquire into our true nature.

When I first started my yoga practice, I was, surprise... a loner. I practiced asanas alone for eight years, until one day, it dawned on me that I not only needed a teacher, but I needed to meet other yogis. My search for both led me to Jivamukti yoga center in NYC and later, to Integral Yoga Institute, where I eventually trained to become a yoga teacher. My fellow teachers at both centers became my satsang, my spiritual family. Every week, I would meditate, chant, and share with other practitioners who, like me, wanted to become enlightened and liberated. Just having a community of people to support me on my spiritual journey is a blessing. The deeper my practice of yoga and meditation has become, the more I realize how lonely and challenging this path can be. In a world where society is constantly  telling who you should be, finding and honoring your True Self is not so easy. That's why it's so important to find a community of like-minded beings to support you and uplift you.

My grandfather used to say “the company you keep will either make or break you”. I never really paid much attention to what that meant, but now I get it. If you want to be happy, healthy and peaceful, you need to surround yourself with people who are! And that doesn’t just apply to people. It applies to everything you allow into your life --- from the people you associate with personally and professionally, to the food you eat, to the books you read, to the TV and movies you watch. It’s pretty simply --- what you put in, is what you get out.

We have a choice in this world to decide who and what we allow into our lives. And make no mistake, those choices will make or break you. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship and noticed how you always felt depleted? Or conversely, have you spent time with a good friend and noticed how nourished you felt afterwards? Those are signs that the universe is sending you. So pay attention.

Ultimately, the importance of “satsang” is more than just spiritual. It permeates every aspect of your life and determines the kind of life you ultimately will live. I have learned to choose wisely. And I recognize the warning signs when I don’t. Think about your own life this week…how does it make you feel? What areas of your life deplete your health, happiness, and peace of mind? What can you do to change that? In the end, the life you live is up to you. Choose wisely and make sure your “Satsang” reflects the life you want to live.

"How Yoga Taught Me To Juggle Motherhood, Work and Marriage"

This month’s blog is written by my friend and fellow yoga teacher Heidi Camuti. Heidi specializes in teaching yoga to children in the under-served populations in Newark NJ, as well as special needs children. She is devoted to making yoga accessible to all people and sharing its healing powers. Her gentle flowing hatha classes are designed to align the body and enliven the spirit. Heidi is also the proud mother of 9-year-old Olivia, who teaches her the importance of yoga each and every day.

The Sanskrit definition of Krama is: “one after the other, gradually, sequentially.”  Vinyasa yoga refers to the linking of body movement with breath. Juggling motherhood, work, and marriage is like creating a sequence that agrees with my intentions.  It involves an awareness of time, energy, strength and flexibility.  I like to look at each day like a sequence that will create the results I need to deliver my balancing act with grace, flow, and happiness.

It sounds very flowery and dreamlike, but it’s not.  That flow involves a lot of stability, effort and boundaries.  I used to put so much emphasis on flexibility and openness not really factoring in where my threshold was.  Motherhood opened my eyes to how decisive and warrior like a woman has to be.  Recently, I’ve been aligning myself with that on and off the mat.  As mothers, when we are decisive, strong, and clear our sequence flows.  Being definitive and on point relieves the stress of feeling hectic, unorganized and unsupported.

As a yoga teacher, I see the world through yoga goggles and relate to life from that point of view.  In February, Jivamukti Yoga School’s focus of the month was Sutra 2.46, “The connection to the earth should be steady and joyful.”  This sutra gives us the advice to take hold of a comfortable able seat and not to react to everything around us. At a recent workshop with Sanskrit expert Manorama she shared one of her well dubbed “pearls” which is now one of my favorite mantras…it goes like this: “attention without tension.” 

Here are some ways I weave yoga into the vinyasa krama of my daily life to make me a better wife, mother and professional.

TIP #1:  BREATH & MEDITATE

I practice pranayama (manipulated breathing techniques) along with meditation regularly. Meditation creates space in your mind between thoughts and actions, self-awareness, authentic speech, patience and understanding.  I find commuting or waiting in the car at school pick up is a perfect time. Whenever I have even 5 minutes alone, I meditate.  Constant mental dialogue serves no purpose and drains valuable energy.  I take the time to clear my head whenever possible, so I am truly present when family or work needs my full attention.  That means not using the time to get an email out or make a cell phone call.  So, yes it takes discipline to form this pattern.

TIP # 2:  MANTRA

As a big Kundalini Yoga enthusiast, I am a firm believer in the power of mantra and its ability to shift my mind stream in the right direction.   Sometimes I say them silently in my head, sometimes I sing them out loud in the car with my iPod playing Snatum Kaur, Joseph Michael Levry, or Guru Ganesha Singh.  When I’m listening to Krishna Das, I don’t care who cuts me off or gives me the finger or worse yet be that person who honks half a nano second after the light turns green. For me…mantra really kills the negativity, anxiety, and irritation that sometimes crawl around my brain. Besides, who wants to radiate that into the world especially with family and colleagues?

TIP# 3:  CREATE GOOD RELATIONSHIP KARMA

The philosophy of karma tells us that we have to create the circumstances for the results we want. That means if you want a satisfying career and a happy loving family, you can manifest that with your own thoughts, words, and actions.  One way to do this according to Geshe Michael Roach in his book, “The Diamond Cutter” is to use the Buddhist practice of Jampa.  This is the practice of putting your mind in the other’s body and basically doing a mental switch becoming aware of their needs from you.  So, instead of asking yourself what you’re getting out of a situation, ask yourself what your child, spouse, or boss needs from the situation.  A few years ago my husband was laid off from his job, and I practiced Jampa by not panicking and making matters worse by stressing him out more than I’m sure he already was.  Also, my husband hates getting interrupted with phone calls while he’s working, but he likes affectionate emails.  So, I practice Jampa and do what makes him feel good. By doing what works for others and being “in their shoes” you create the ripple effect.  My husband tucks our daughter into bed every night and brings hot coffee to me in the bedroom every morning.  That alone makes me want to do anything for him.  The key is subtle actions have big impact.  Yoga asks us to be at that level of awareness.  It’s hard, but the results are worth it.

Sitting With Uncertainty

The past few months of moving and trying to find a job have tested my patience, faith, and self-confidence. You see, I’m not good with uncertainty. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen next. I’m a producer, not just by trade, but also by nature. I plan, schedule, execute and deliver. Funny thing is, the older I get, the more I realize I’m not in control. Life doesn’t work that way. You can plan all you want, but in the end, chances are the universe will throw a wrench in your plans somewhere along the line. And that scares the-you -know -what out of me. But instead of fighting it, I’m learning how to surrender to the unknown and sit with uncertainty.

Last week, in the midst of all my self-created drama about my new freelance job and what will I do when it ends, I received some terrible news. A friend of mine was dying of cancer. How could that be? He is too young. I just spoke to him a few months ago, and he seemed fine. Now, he is in a medically induced coma, as doctors blast his body with chemo in an attempt to save his life. Six months ago, he was worried about making his deadlines and planning his next vacation. And now, each day, he simply struggles to breathe. To breathe. And his family sits with the uncertainty of whether he will survive another day. 

Knowing that, really hit home. Whatever we face in our lives, no matter how hard we try to establish stability, it can change at any moment. There is really nothing we can do about it. We get old, we get sick, we get laid off, and we lose loved ones.  We “sit with uncertainty” every day, whether we realize or not.  No matter how hard we want things to remain the same, they will eventually change. That much I know for sure.  All we can really do is hold on for the ride and surrender to the unknown.

The other thing I know for sure is that we will all die.  Sounds silly to say that, cause we all know it’s true, yet we spend our lives trying to avoid it. As we get older, however, the frailty of life becomes more real. Time slips by, things change, and suddenly obsessing about the past or worrying about the future doesn’t seem to matter so much. Life is now. Right now. And if we don’t grab it and enjoy it to the fullest, it will be over. That’s why it’s so important to live in the present. There is nothing uncertain about the present moment.

As I think of my friend in the hospital, I know he is very much in the present moment, as he fights for his life, focusing on his breath --- one breath at a time.  I don’t know what will happen to him. I pray for him every day. When I meditate in the mornings, I imagine I am breathing for him, too. And in some strange way, in that moment, I feel connected to him. In the end, I don’t know if he will get better, but I do know that he has lived a good life and loved well. And when his time comes, like the rest of us, he will be at peace...and life, with all its changes, will move on.